Day-to-Day

I have not been here for over a year. I had great intentions last year to go on a personal journey to enrich and enlighten my life. I wanted to have a place to go where I could escape the day-to-day and work on my spiritual side to allow the day-to-day to become happier and lighter and remove the stresses of the day-to-day. Well…the day-to-day got the best of me.   “Life Happens” as they say.  It was a busy year full of some scares, stresses but also a lot of joy!  I would not trade it – our joys filled us with love and appreciation. Then, it was back to day-to day and a bit of fear on my end of pursuing my dreams.

Day-to Day  is getting in my way. The mundane becomes a way of life and a hamster wheel. Change is harder to do as the hamster wheel does not allow me to get off and try.  Fear of the unknown and change keeps me on the wheel. Knowing what I have and the “sure” thing stops me from the “new ” things. My fear is holding me back and the security of things I once felt were part of my fear of moving forward are beginning to waive.  I had stability in a job that made me afraid to walk away to pursue another career.  I was told to start small and then walk away-this makes sense to me , however day-to-day comes back to haunt me every time. I get caught up in the mundane, put my dreams on the back burner, thoughts that someday I can pursue them.  When does that day come when am I going to be forced to give it a try to start small and grow. Today is the day!

My plan to turn the day-to-day into a spectacular day-after-day is to start my “new” path one day at a time.  I always say “I need to …” but today is the day for me to say “I will…” I will blog my thoughts to encourage me to move forward. I will carve out a small portion of the day that is dedicated to me and me alone! I will set forth my plan and my goals and with the help of my family and friends I will become what I dream of.  My day-to-day will no longer be mundane, but it will become a day-to-day of joy and fulfillment!

Blogging 101 assignment- Writing from a Prompt

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “I Can’t Stay Mad at You.”

My assignment today is to write a post from a prompt. The question is – “Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?” I have to say that I used to hold grudges in the past but found that is not always the best way to handle things.

When I was younger and someone made me angry or hurt me I would hold a grudge against them.  I would not hang out with them or talk to them for a long period of time.  I had an “I’ll show you!” type of attitude.  Then eventually I may come around and forgive and forget.  If a store or a restaurant had rude employees or were not helpful, my husband and I would ban them and not go there again.  We  were like hey, if they don’t want our money fine we will go elsewhere.

Looking back at some of these decisions it seems like the only people hurt by this were us! All the time spent on holding a grudge could have been spent enjoying things we may have missed out on. Part of my blog is about living in a more positive way and not having to be bogged down with negativity. So from this point on, I believe the forgive and forget method would probably be more beneficial than spending negative energy in maintaining a grudge.

I also think as we get older and wiser that the grudge is just too much effort and work and sometimes forgiving and forgetting (even when we are right) is better.  There are situations where taking the first step in resolving an argument or being the “bigger” person pays off and builds better and stronger relationships. Now if I am in the same situation over and over and the only one forgiving and forgetting then just maybe….the holding the grudge might find its way back into my life 🙂 What are your thoughts?

The Skeptic in Me

I think everyone is a skeptic from time to time. We often find ourselves in situations asking ourselves “is this is too good to be true?” or “there is no way this is real” and on and on. I think as a society we have a hard time accepting things that can’t be proven or seem unreal.  Maybe we are pessimistic and can not allow ourselves to believe in something or accept something we can’t explain. Sometimes it is a matter of believing in yourself or allowing yourself to have good things happen or allow yourself to just accept things to be true. It may be a matter of accepting something that is not considered”normal” to society. There are situations that a little skepticism is good so that you are aware of something that is not good for you or putting yourself in a dangerous situation. I do believe that skepticism can also be self-doubt or fear that is within yourself that needs to be addressed.

As I have stated in previous posts, this blog is intended to help me progress spiritually and become a better medium so that I can better help people. I named this blog “The Skeptic Medium” for a few different reasons. One is that it is whimsical as a play on words. There are those that are skeptic of mediums so I played on it a bit by turning it around that I am skeptic of myself as a medium.

I say that I am skeptic. I mean it more in the fear of failure and the doubt in my abilities.  I am a Type A personality and am afraid to fail or be wrong. I think to myself “What if the information I receive is not right. What if I don’t understand the meaning of it? What if people think I am not good at this. What if people think I am a hoax?” These questions go on and on to the point that I begin to doubt myself and then make up excuses that prevent me from embracing this gift that I was given.  It stops me from pursuing this as a job. Why give up the 9-5 paying job to do this if I can’t do it? All this energy I place in being skeptic of myself could have been used helping people.

I have had meditations and readings for people with some strange images or sayings and when they are validated I feel pretty good. The validation is awesome because then I know that I don’t always have to understand what I receive or the meaning of it as the people I am reading for understand it.  When I do a reading for someone and they are moved by what I tell them and feel better it makes me feel fantastic. Then I forget about the fear of failure or the skepticism in myself , until the next reading 🙂 I have had amazing experiences delivering the messages and am blown away by people’s reactions. It is just a wonderful gift and I know now is the time to really use it. I know that I will develop my gift more and more by using it. I have many supporters of me that are pushing me to continue moving forward and to do this professionally. I have to say that if they believe in me so much then I need to believe in myself.

I have recently been thinking about this a lot. I have come to the conclusion that I need to stop being skeptic of myself and stop putting pressure on myself and stop being fearful of failure. I do not have to worry, spirit will do the work. I do not have to try to figure out what the message is, I only have to deliver to the living the messages in the way the passed souls tell me.  I don’t have to be “right” as sometimes the messages do not make sense to the person I am reading at that time, but down the road it will.  I have had readings done on me where I concentrate so hard on a few things that don’t make sense and then after some time passes all of a sudden some of these things are realized. It is amazing because you are like “Whoa, wait, remember when she told me that?” So if I experience that, then I know if I deliver a message that does not make sense to someone it probably will eventually. I think that the more I believe in myself, the better medium I will be and that is exciting.

Finally, I can not allow fear to prevent me from doing something that I feel will make my life full.  I will start slow and build my business in the way that I feel is best for me. This journey is going to make me stronger and rid my baggage of self-doubt, fear and skepticism. I can’t wait to be free of it and enjoy my gift and be rewarded with the comfort that I will be able to give others.

Inspiration from your Neighbors

Our assignment yesterday in the Blogging 101 class was to comment on our “neighbors” blogs that resonated with us and today we are assigned a task of writing about one of the blogs and adding a link to it for others to read. I read so many blogs and commented on many that impacted me.  It was a hard decision, but I decided to talk about one that was about starting a journal.

I really enjoyed a  post named  Want to Live Forever? Easy, Keep a Journal by Itchy Quill. There were so many great reasons given on why you should keep a journal.  I really enjoyed all the reasons that were given and had already thought about some of them prior to reading the post. I would like to address some of them here.

The reason about saving your life and keeping in touch with yourself go hand in hand for me.  I have decided to keep a personal journal on some of my thoughts, worries and things that are bothering me as a cathartic way of releasing them from my mind and “taking out the trash.”  I feel sometimes I dwell on the same things and can’t stop dwelling so by writing it down I am looking at what is causing me unwarranted worries and getting rid of it.  I also want to journal my meditations which is keeping in touch with myself.  I also think as the year goes on that it will be fun to look back and ask myself, “Why did this bother you so much and how great does it feel to be rid of the burdens that I was carrying.”

This all leads into relieving stress. All of these things are part of my journey to the new me so keeping a journal is a perfect fit for me.  It is a great place to vent the things that are bothering you without having to tell others (especially if they are tired of hearing it from you), and it also is great to be able to be truthful to yourself in a private way.

The time capsule reason is the one that I really love.  My daughter is actually writing in a 5 year journal that is just a few sentences about the day with her son.  It is a great way to chronicle my grandson’s life and will be fun to look back and see the funny things he did or said or the events that were happening that day.  We always think we will remember all the “cute” things our children say or do but as time goes on we do forget unfortunately.  This line a day journal is a fantastic way to remember and doesn’t take a lot of time to do.

I also love the books for Parents and Grandparents to fill out about what their life is about and to share it with their children and grandchildren.  I wish that I would have written things down about my grandparents life while they were alive, there is no one to tell their story after they pass away.  I think it would be great to journal about your personal life and things you enjoy for your future generations to read. Life as a child for me is a different era (pre internet, pre cell phones, etc) and it would be great for my children and grandchildren to learn about what it was like to grow up then.

I am fascinated by what life must have been like in the 1920s – 1950s.  I love looking at old photos, articles and tv shows that show the “old days.”  It is also fun looking at things from the 1960s and 1970s as it brings back so many memories and my journal may do the same for my future generations.

My great grandma kept journals and my mom has them and they are fun to read and see what she went through as she was an amazing woman who overcame a lot and especially admirable for the time era.

A journal about your life is a wonderful gift to leave to your heirs.  It has inspired me to start asking my parents to tell stories about themselves and relatives that have passed away so that these things are not lost forever.

Thank you ItchyQuill for inspiring me to journal my life and asking my loved ones to do the same.

How did I get here?

As a child, I had imaginary friends and believed that my stuffed animals and baby dolls were real.  Knowing what I know now, I believe that many times imaginary friends are guardian angels to us. Children are more open to believing in angels and accepting things they see without questioning it.  As adults, we try to rationalize  the things we can not explain as we can’t accept things that are not “normal”.  I believe that our guardian angels and our loved ones that have passed are with us and we should accept the things we feel or see as “normal”.

The first real memory that I have of seeing a spirit was when I was about 5 years old.  I was asleep and something woke me up, when I opened my eyes I saw a beautiful princess.  She had blonde hair, a long pink dress with a full tulle skirt, a crown with sparkly jewels and a wand that twinkled.  The colors were so vivid and there was a glow all around her.  She was just staring at me with a beautiful smile.  Needless to say, I was frightened and screamed and by the time my dad was in my room, she had disappeared.  I thought she was the Tooth Fairy and I was told it was just a dream.  I was afraid to go to bed alone for a while after that and I believed she was real and was really in my room.  I now wonder if she may have been my guardian angel.  I never recall seeing her again but maybe I just blocked it out.

By the age of 10, I was already drawn to learning how to analyze handwriting, and I was reading books on ESP.  I knew that I wanted to work in a profession that helped others – a veterinarian, a pediatrician, a teacher or a nurse.  I ended up becoming a nurse.

I always felt  the presence of others around me but thought it was my imagination.  I had many experiences of “deja vu” moments and certain fears of situations.  I believed that I was going to be shot at intersections when I was a teenager now I wonder was I shot in a previous life?  Many times I felt that I had met people or experienced the conversations I was having or being in situations I was in.  So now I wonder were these past lives or more of my psychic abilities developing.

I began to see spirits and presences became stronger in my 20’s. I had my youngest daughter when I was 30 and I had lost 2 grandparents while I was pregnant.  My grandpa passed away about 2 months before she was born and my grandma passed away a week before she was born.  When my daughter was only a few weeks old she had not woke up for her feeding and I went in her room to check on her.  As I opened the door, I felt quite a chill and felt someone was in the room.  She was in a strange place in her bed and the blankets were undisturbed and I remember feeling like my grandma was there and was probably holding her and put her back quickly as I entered the room.  It was a very surreal experience.  Another time I was feeding her and I felt a presence behind me and someone was patting my head and I just knew it was my grandpa.

One night I had a very emotional “dream” about my grandma.  She was so beautiful – the colors were amazing!  She was in a dark blue velvet dress and her skin was like ivory and just glowed – it is hard to explain.  She was telling me a few things that I needed to hear and explaining what Heaven was like and telling me about the levels she was doing to keep moving up.  I know that I had asked a lot of questions and received the answers but I did not remember all of it  when I woke up.  I believe I am only supposed to recall certain aspects of the conversation.  When I did wake up, I was so emotional and crying and this really affected me. This had a large impact on my life and  I know now that this was not a dream and that I was actually having a conversation with her.

When my daughter was almost 2 years old my other grandma passed away and my daughter started telling us things about seeing her. As my daughter got older she would see a lady in her room at the end of her bed as well as other “people”.  She was actually so afraid that she could not sleep alone.  She would describe things about my grandparents that she would not know as two of them died before she was born.

I began to focus on helping her to try to develop her “gift” and never really thought much of my own.  We went to a group reading with a psychic/medium and she knew my daughter had the “gift”.  It was very exciting.  We ended up taking a class to help awaken your skills and surprisingly mine really took off.  I went with my daughter as she did not want to go alone and I was able to “see” things and relay messages. My mentor told me that I had strong psychic/medium abilities and that I could do this as a job if I wanted to.  I began to meditate more and at first it was overwhelming as I only received symbols and images that I did not understand.  In time, I began to receive messages as a conversation or song lyrics and now it is developing differently again.  I have given messages to people and made changes in their lives which is very rewarding.

This blog is to help me further my abilities so that I can help more people.  My career choice as a child was to help others and I have definitely gone down that path.  Besides becoming a nurse, I also have trained and became certified as a Stott Pilates instructor and Reiki level 1 and 2. I love people and love talking and listening to everyone. I have done many things with my nursing to help others and I am always approached by others for help in their lives.  People confide in me and are able to talk to me easily. Strangers start talking to me wherever I go and sometimes ask me to assist them in choosing gifts or my opinion on things.  I feel like I am a magnet to many and am put in certain  situations on “purpose”.  I believe I was put here to help and guide others  and I know this is the  next “stop” on my journey in life.

Affirmations

Affirmations are everywhere!  They are in books, calendars, coffee mugs, magazines, billboards, the internet.  Some of them are funny and make us laugh and others are a bit more serious and make us think.

My grandmother was the secretary of her bowling league and she would type up the weekly score sheet and always put a quote or affirmation on the bottom of the page.  She would receive books as gifts that were full of these and she especially enjoyed Erma Bombeck ( a humorist journalist and author of suburban life). When we would play in my grandparents basement, we would always read my grandmothers sheet to see what quote she put on it.  Those were good memories and now that I am an adult these quotes would make more sense to me :))

I find many of these an observation of life that makes you have an “aha” moment.  Many of these are just what we need to set us down a better path, or they may be just what we need when we are feeling down and sometimes they are just funny and make us smile.

I have decided that I would like to start out my day with an affirmation or quote.  It will be fun to look them up online and find ones that fit my needs that day.  I may want a good laugh ( I will probably start with Erma Bombeck in memory of my grandmother) or something to help me live positive ( I am reading Florence Scovel Shinn and she has many affirmations in her book ) or I may just google a random one online as a surprise. The whole point of the affirmation for myself is to give me a focus for my day and improve my outlook on life in a positive way.

I think it is important when you read the affirmation, that you really believe it to be true and try to apply it to your life. You must have faith that these words will make an impact on your life. If you come across one that really resonates with you, then say it every day until you feel that it has changed your life or that you have achieved what you wanted it to mean for you.  It is exciting to think of all the choices you have – happiness, start your day, money, success, faith, hope, employment, relationships. The opportunities are endless.  Just google whatever you are looking for and start reading!

My affirmation for today – “I am grateful for all the good things in my life and am open to receiving all the opportunities that are waiting for me.”

Through the eyes of a child…

On my journey of the “new me”, I would like to address the hustle and bustle and not slowing down and really living life.  We get so busy having to go here, do this, clean this, fix this, etc, that we don’t stop and look around and see the beauty around us.  I for one feel like I am on a hamster wheel with no way off and I need to change this.  People will say “Live each day as if it is your last.” – this does make sense as we would really make each day great.

I was watching my grandson this weekend and I must say that I really thought a lot about what I am missing out on.  He is almost 14 months old and he has always been very observant but I have noticed lately that when he is looking around that he is really taking it all in.  He looks at things in awe and bright-eyed.  It appears he looks at every single detail. When you talk to him, he looks right at you and smiles.  We can learn a lot from children.  Their excitement over the smallest things and how easily they are to please.

As adults, we lose that feeling of wonderment and rush to get things done.  As adults, we feel pressures and stresses and sometimes miss out on fun. It would be great to take 5 minutes a day to really look around and notice the beauty of the sky, the flowers, buildings, people, animals or whatever there is and appreciate the things we have.

Watching my grandson develop and learn new things has been a joy for me and an eye opener as well.  He gets so excited when he does new things and laughs and is so proud of himself.  He looks to see that you are in fact watching his new feats and smiles at you when he sees you are indeed paying attention to him.

Watching life through the eyes of a child has really put things into perspective for this journey of mine. Now is the time to slow down and appreciate life.  I will begin to see things as if it was the first time, try new things and laugh.  It is time to bring out the child in me and have some fun!  Thank you to my beautiful grandson for reminding me of the joys of life.