How did I get here?

As a child, I had imaginary friends and believed that my stuffed animals and baby dolls were real.  Knowing what I know now, I believe that many times imaginary friends are guardian angels to us. Children are more open to believing in angels and accepting things they see without questioning it.  As adults, we try to rationalize  the things we can not explain as we can’t accept things that are not “normal”.  I believe that our guardian angels and our loved ones that have passed are with us and we should accept the things we feel or see as “normal”.

The first real memory that I have of seeing a spirit was when I was about 5 years old.  I was asleep and something woke me up, when I opened my eyes I saw a beautiful princess.  She had blonde hair, a long pink dress with a full tulle skirt, a crown with sparkly jewels and a wand that twinkled.  The colors were so vivid and there was a glow all around her.  She was just staring at me with a beautiful smile.  Needless to say, I was frightened and screamed and by the time my dad was in my room, she had disappeared.  I thought she was the Tooth Fairy and I was told it was just a dream.  I was afraid to go to bed alone for a while after that and I believed she was real and was really in my room.  I now wonder if she may have been my guardian angel.  I never recall seeing her again but maybe I just blocked it out.

By the age of 10, I was already drawn to learning how to analyze handwriting, and I was reading books on ESP.  I knew that I wanted to work in a profession that helped others – a veterinarian, a pediatrician, a teacher or a nurse.  I ended up becoming a nurse.

I always felt  the presence of others around me but thought it was my imagination.  I had many experiences of “deja vu” moments and certain fears of situations.  I believed that I was going to be shot at intersections when I was a teenager now I wonder was I shot in a previous life?  Many times I felt that I had met people or experienced the conversations I was having or being in situations I was in.  So now I wonder were these past lives or more of my psychic abilities developing.

I began to see spirits and presences became stronger in my 20’s. I had my youngest daughter when I was 30 and I had lost 2 grandparents while I was pregnant.  My grandpa passed away about 2 months before she was born and my grandma passed away a week before she was born.  When my daughter was only a few weeks old she had not woke up for her feeding and I went in her room to check on her.  As I opened the door, I felt quite a chill and felt someone was in the room.  She was in a strange place in her bed and the blankets were undisturbed and I remember feeling like my grandma was there and was probably holding her and put her back quickly as I entered the room.  It was a very surreal experience.  Another time I was feeding her and I felt a presence behind me and someone was patting my head and I just knew it was my grandpa.

One night I had a very emotional “dream” about my grandma.  She was so beautiful – the colors were amazing!  She was in a dark blue velvet dress and her skin was like ivory and just glowed – it is hard to explain.  She was telling me a few things that I needed to hear and explaining what Heaven was like and telling me about the levels she was doing to keep moving up.  I know that I had asked a lot of questions and received the answers but I did not remember all of it  when I woke up.  I believe I am only supposed to recall certain aspects of the conversation.  When I did wake up, I was so emotional and crying and this really affected me. This had a large impact on my life and  I know now that this was not a dream and that I was actually having a conversation with her.

When my daughter was almost 2 years old my other grandma passed away and my daughter started telling us things about seeing her. As my daughter got older she would see a lady in her room at the end of her bed as well as other “people”.  She was actually so afraid that she could not sleep alone.  She would describe things about my grandparents that she would not know as two of them died before she was born.

I began to focus on helping her to try to develop her “gift” and never really thought much of my own.  We went to a group reading with a psychic/medium and she knew my daughter had the “gift”.  It was very exciting.  We ended up taking a class to help awaken your skills and surprisingly mine really took off.  I went with my daughter as she did not want to go alone and I was able to “see” things and relay messages. My mentor told me that I had strong psychic/medium abilities and that I could do this as a job if I wanted to.  I began to meditate more and at first it was overwhelming as I only received symbols and images that I did not understand.  In time, I began to receive messages as a conversation or song lyrics and now it is developing differently again.  I have given messages to people and made changes in their lives which is very rewarding.

This blog is to help me further my abilities so that I can help more people.  My career choice as a child was to help others and I have definitely gone down that path.  Besides becoming a nurse, I also have trained and became certified as a Stott Pilates instructor and Reiki level 1 and 2. I love people and love talking and listening to everyone. I have done many things with my nursing to help others and I am always approached by others for help in their lives.  People confide in me and are able to talk to me easily. Strangers start talking to me wherever I go and sometimes ask me to assist them in choosing gifts or my opinion on things.  I feel like I am a magnet to many and am put in certain  situations on “purpose”.  I believe I was put here to help and guide others  and I know this is the  next “stop” on my journey in life.


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