Tag Archive | new me


I have not been here for over a year. I had great intentions last year to go on a personal journey to enrich and enlighten my life. I wanted to have a place to go where I could escape the day-to-day and work on my spiritual side to allow the day-to-day to become happier and lighter and remove the stresses of the day-to-day. Well…the day-to-day got the best of me.   “Life Happens” as they say.  It was a busy year full of some scares, stresses but also a lot of joy!  I would not trade it – our joys filled us with love and appreciation. Then, it was back to day-to day and a bit of fear on my end of pursuing my dreams.

Day-to Day  is getting in my way. The mundane becomes a way of life and a hamster wheel. Change is harder to do as the hamster wheel does not allow me to get off and try.  Fear of the unknown and change keeps me on the wheel. Knowing what I have and the “sure” thing stops me from the “new ” things. My fear is holding me back and the security of things I once felt were part of my fear of moving forward are beginning to waive.  I had stability in a job that made me afraid to walk away to pursue another career.  I was told to start small and then walk away-this makes sense to me , however day-to-day comes back to haunt me every time. I get caught up in the mundane, put my dreams on the back burner, thoughts that someday I can pursue them.  When does that day come when am I going to be forced to give it a try to start small and grow. Today is the day!

My plan to turn the day-to-day into a spectacular day-after-day is to start my “new” path one day at a time.  I always say “I need to …” but today is the day for me to say “I will…” I will blog my thoughts to encourage me to move forward. I will carve out a small portion of the day that is dedicated to me and me alone! I will set forth my plan and my goals and with the help of my family and friends I will become what I dream of.  My day-to-day will no longer be mundane, but it will become a day-to-day of joy and fulfillment!


How did I get here?

As a child, I had imaginary friends and believed that my stuffed animals and baby dolls were real.  Knowing what I know now, I believe that many times imaginary friends are guardian angels to us. Children are more open to believing in angels and accepting things they see without questioning it.  As adults, we try to rationalize  the things we can not explain as we can’t accept things that are not “normal”.  I believe that our guardian angels and our loved ones that have passed are with us and we should accept the things we feel or see as “normal”.

The first real memory that I have of seeing a spirit was when I was about 5 years old.  I was asleep and something woke me up, when I opened my eyes I saw a beautiful princess.  She had blonde hair, a long pink dress with a full tulle skirt, a crown with sparkly jewels and a wand that twinkled.  The colors were so vivid and there was a glow all around her.  She was just staring at me with a beautiful smile.  Needless to say, I was frightened and screamed and by the time my dad was in my room, she had disappeared.  I thought she was the Tooth Fairy and I was told it was just a dream.  I was afraid to go to bed alone for a while after that and I believed she was real and was really in my room.  I now wonder if she may have been my guardian angel.  I never recall seeing her again but maybe I just blocked it out.

By the age of 10, I was already drawn to learning how to analyze handwriting, and I was reading books on ESP.  I knew that I wanted to work in a profession that helped others – a veterinarian, a pediatrician, a teacher or a nurse.  I ended up becoming a nurse.

I always felt  the presence of others around me but thought it was my imagination.  I had many experiences of “deja vu” moments and certain fears of situations.  I believed that I was going to be shot at intersections when I was a teenager now I wonder was I shot in a previous life?  Many times I felt that I had met people or experienced the conversations I was having or being in situations I was in.  So now I wonder were these past lives or more of my psychic abilities developing.

I began to see spirits and presences became stronger in my 20’s. I had my youngest daughter when I was 30 and I had lost 2 grandparents while I was pregnant.  My grandpa passed away about 2 months before she was born and my grandma passed away a week before she was born.  When my daughter was only a few weeks old she had not woke up for her feeding and I went in her room to check on her.  As I opened the door, I felt quite a chill and felt someone was in the room.  She was in a strange place in her bed and the blankets were undisturbed and I remember feeling like my grandma was there and was probably holding her and put her back quickly as I entered the room.  It was a very surreal experience.  Another time I was feeding her and I felt a presence behind me and someone was patting my head and I just knew it was my grandpa.

One night I had a very emotional “dream” about my grandma.  She was so beautiful – the colors were amazing!  She was in a dark blue velvet dress and her skin was like ivory and just glowed – it is hard to explain.  She was telling me a few things that I needed to hear and explaining what Heaven was like and telling me about the levels she was doing to keep moving up.  I know that I had asked a lot of questions and received the answers but I did not remember all of it  when I woke up.  I believe I am only supposed to recall certain aspects of the conversation.  When I did wake up, I was so emotional and crying and this really affected me. This had a large impact on my life and  I know now that this was not a dream and that I was actually having a conversation with her.

When my daughter was almost 2 years old my other grandma passed away and my daughter started telling us things about seeing her. As my daughter got older she would see a lady in her room at the end of her bed as well as other “people”.  She was actually so afraid that she could not sleep alone.  She would describe things about my grandparents that she would not know as two of them died before she was born.

I began to focus on helping her to try to develop her “gift” and never really thought much of my own.  We went to a group reading with a psychic/medium and she knew my daughter had the “gift”.  It was very exciting.  We ended up taking a class to help awaken your skills and surprisingly mine really took off.  I went with my daughter as she did not want to go alone and I was able to “see” things and relay messages. My mentor told me that I had strong psychic/medium abilities and that I could do this as a job if I wanted to.  I began to meditate more and at first it was overwhelming as I only received symbols and images that I did not understand.  In time, I began to receive messages as a conversation or song lyrics and now it is developing differently again.  I have given messages to people and made changes in their lives which is very rewarding.

This blog is to help me further my abilities so that I can help more people.  My career choice as a child was to help others and I have definitely gone down that path.  Besides becoming a nurse, I also have trained and became certified as a Stott Pilates instructor and Reiki level 1 and 2. I love people and love talking and listening to everyone. I have done many things with my nursing to help others and I am always approached by others for help in their lives.  People confide in me and are able to talk to me easily. Strangers start talking to me wherever I go and sometimes ask me to assist them in choosing gifts or my opinion on things.  I feel like I am a magnet to many and am put in certain  situations on “purpose”.  I believe I was put here to help and guide others  and I know this is the  next “stop” on my journey in life.

Through the eyes of a child…

On my journey of the “new me”, I would like to address the hustle and bustle and not slowing down and really living life.  We get so busy having to go here, do this, clean this, fix this, etc, that we don’t stop and look around and see the beauty around us.  I for one feel like I am on a hamster wheel with no way off and I need to change this.  People will say “Live each day as if it is your last.” – this does make sense as we would really make each day great.

I was watching my grandson this weekend and I must say that I really thought a lot about what I am missing out on.  He is almost 14 months old and he has always been very observant but I have noticed lately that when he is looking around that he is really taking it all in.  He looks at things in awe and bright-eyed.  It appears he looks at every single detail. When you talk to him, he looks right at you and smiles.  We can learn a lot from children.  Their excitement over the smallest things and how easily they are to please.

As adults, we lose that feeling of wonderment and rush to get things done.  As adults, we feel pressures and stresses and sometimes miss out on fun. It would be great to take 5 minutes a day to really look around and notice the beauty of the sky, the flowers, buildings, people, animals or whatever there is and appreciate the things we have.

Watching my grandson develop and learn new things has been a joy for me and an eye opener as well.  He gets so excited when he does new things and laughs and is so proud of himself.  He looks to see that you are in fact watching his new feats and smiles at you when he sees you are indeed paying attention to him.

Watching life through the eyes of a child has really put things into perspective for this journey of mine. Now is the time to slow down and appreciate life.  I will begin to see things as if it was the first time, try new things and laugh.  It is time to bring out the child in me and have some fun!  Thank you to my beautiful grandson for reminding me of the joys of life.

Ready, Set, Go!!!

I have spent the last few days setting goals for myself, and now it is time to put them into action. I began my day with my serenity prayer and then am doing my meditation and my Prayer of Jabez this evening before bed. I feel so excited and recharged already. I am focused on my journey and will not let things distract me or veer me off my path.

I read a chapter in my Florence Scovel Shinn book and the lesson that I read was about tearing the wall down that is preventing people from being successful. She talks about things that we do and believe about ourselves that prevents us from having things that we want in life.  It seems so fitting to read this first as I know that I prevent myself from having things by not believing that I should have it or making excuses or having negative thoughts or fear of failure. It is so easy to say “Why me?” or “Why does everything good happen for so and so?” “When do I get a break?” By continuing to have that type of attitude is only going to bring you more of the same.

Dear Universe – I will begin to change my way of thinking and begin to reap the benefits of believing in myself and allowing for good things to come my way.  I am in charge of tearing down my wall and having a clear path to everything I want!  This is definitely a great way to start the new year, the new me!

Ask and you shall receive

This seems like a crazy concept at first: Ask for something and you will receive it?  Seems like there should be a “catch”.  I have read several things about asking for what you want and believing in it and you will receive these things.

At first, it seems selfish to me to just ask for something and have it land in your lap.  I was not brought up this way as you work for things you want.  The more I read on this topic it begins to make a lot of sense to me and now is the time for me to apply these “rules” to the  new me.

From what I have read, surrounding yourself with positive energy and asking for things specifically, that you are opening yourself up to receiving the things you are asking for. Seems unbelievable, but not believing is sending negative messages to the universe and blocking good things coming your way.  I will commit myself to asking the universe for things that I want in my life and turning any negative energy that I have into positive energy.

Four things that I will do to help me achieve this are : The Prayer of Jabez daily, I will read The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn and apply to my life, meditate and apply daily affirmations.

These past few days have been about setting up a plan of action for the new me!  I also have purchased a beautiful journal for writing down my affirmations and the things that I am asking the universe for as well as my meditation thoughts. I can not wait to read this at the end of the year to see how much that I have grown. It is very exciting to begin the new year on this journey.

This blog is great for me to share my thoughts and plans with people and putting it out to the universe.  This also helps to keep me accountable for my journey.  I am also hoping to be able to help guide others to a new perspective on life.  Check out the books – they make for great reading :)) Both are very inspirational and explain how to ask for things and believing that you deserve goodness in your life.  I actually had prayed the Prayer of Jabez in the past and good things did come my way.  So the only “catch” is not believing that you are worthy of receiving good things and blocking yourself with negativity. As they say “Turn that frown upside down!”  Florence Scovel Shinn (1871-1940) was an artist, author, and spiritual teacher whose philosophy was based on power of positive thought and verbal/physical affirmation. The above book includes 4 of her books in one.

Mental Challenge

Today I am going to set out my plan to mentally clear out my head.  I have so many thoughts going through my head ( worry about the kids, worry of financial security, worry if bills are paid, worry of expense of redecorating home, losing weight, and so on and so on).

Here is where the Prayer of Serenity comes into play.  I am sure many are familiar with this prayer or has heard it at one time or another.  I feel like it is so simple but yet so true and really an easy way to live.  So many things are beyond are control and clutter our minds and stress us out that we do need to let the things we can’t change go. If we can’t change them, then why stress about it?  Once again, an easier said than done thing,  I need to concentrate and put my energy into things that I can change and that will make a difference in my life.  In case you are not familiar to the prayer, here it is:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;                                                                                                               Courage to change the things I can;                                                                                                                                                   And wisdom to know the difference.

I feel that if I can say this every morning and put these words into actions, the things that stress me out and that I have no control over will be removed; and I can concentrate on the things I can change. Exercise is my second defense of stress relief.  I  feel so good when I exercise and it clears my mind.  Meditation is also a form of stress relief.  As you can see, my new commitment continues to reinforce my goals of this new stress free life.  Serenity and peace sounds fantastic! Join me on this assignment and see where it takes you!

A New Year, A New Me

I decided to start a blog this year to renew myself. To make myself stronger and less stressed.  I am definitely a Type A personality.  I let things bother me and stress me out to the point that I can’t sleep, gain weight, and just feel worn out and sad. I really need to find a balance in my life to not allow stress to take over.  Easier said than done!!

I do know that when I eat healthy( less sugar and bread – more veggies and protein) and exercise daily I feel much better and am happier and less stressed.  Meditation is also very helpful for me.  The problem is, that I feel I don’t have the “me” time to do these simple things for myself.   2015 will be different!  I will schedule in my exercise and meditation daily and I will eat better. I will allow myself to balance my body and mind and do the things I am meant to do.

Did I mention that I was a Medium?  I really need to focus on this as my main job goal this year as I feel I can help many people.  I have done so in the past and absolutely love being able to share my “gift”.  In order to really help people who are in need of receiving messages from their loved ones that have passed away,  I need to spend a few weeks rebalancing myself in body and mind.  This will remove the “clutter” in my head and the passed souls can bring me their messages clearly.

By doing this blog, I am renewing myself spiritually and moving forward doing something that I really enjoy doing and that is helping others. Welcome to my journey!!